Thursday, January 31, 2013

Super Bowl Story

3 days until 
the Ravens 
the 49'ers
in the Super Bowl


here's the real
of the Super Bowl story...

A rumored 
chicken wing shortage.
please NOooooooo

Why the wing shortage?
Well….if you really have to know. 
(humor me here)

Chicken companies have produced fewer chickens
 and apparently you need chickens to have wings.

The chicken wing shortage equation 
goes like this:

a summer drought =
 less corn produced=
 higher feed prices = 
fewer chickens= 
fewer wings =

sad chicken wing consumers x 1000000000. 


I remember "they" said the same thing last year about bacon.  
The "bacon shortage"...
turned out to be hogwash. 

I would say that
the "chicken wing shortage" story
 has the makings of a
Chicken Little (wing) 

The Sky is falling.
cluck, cluck

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Big Bang Theory

Let's cut 
to the chase…
the reasons why Michelle Obama 
got bangs.

a.  She was tired of seeing herself in photographs 
with the same hairstyle.

b.. She turned 49 and wanted to feel 29.

c.  She wanted to ride out the next 4 years with a bang.

d.  None of our banging business.

Hairs the deal...
It's just hair.

Hair can change like the weather….
although mine hasn't changed since the 
Blizzard of '88.

I thought it was funny when President Barack Obama 
was asked his opinion of his wife's new haircut.

Obama: "I love her bangs. She looks good. She always looks good."

in other words…
Is there any other answer?"

forever the politician, 
knew how to play it safe...
most husbands are smart enough to know 
how to answer a loaded question like that.


I wonder if Michelle Obama and her new hairstyle
will start a 
banging trend.

Remember how Sarah Palin's eye glasses became the new rage?

Michelle might do the same with bangs.

even Joe is already getting in on the trend.

Say it ain't so, Joe.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Extreme Grooming

I've heard of going to extremes…
extreme sports,
extreme makeovers,

extreme grooming?

How about grooming your pet as...


or even
ahoy mateys

Recently I saw a news story about 
the Labradoodle, 
shaved to look like a lion.  
The owner had his dog groomed 
to look like the mascot 
from Old Dominion University, his alma mater.

Charles, got quite a bit of attention around town.

He looked so real, he caused an 
Panicked townspeople called 911 
with sightings of a baby lion
they thought
escaped from the nearby zoo.


Charles ,
the lab-a-lion 
may look like the 
"King of the Jungle", 

there's another 

getting his 
lion share of attention.

Say "Hello" to
"King of Chelsea's Apartment"

as his friends call him...

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Lip Service

There has been a lot of lip service 
given by the media to 
of the National Anthem 
at Obama's Inauguration. 
Did Beyonce lip sync or not? 

Then again...
Does it really matter or not?

lips are sealed.  
(Sealed with a kiss  -  

She has her lip's buttoned up so tight 
on the subject that
it has become a safely guarded national secret.

My personal thoughts on the matter is that 
in the grand scheme of life…
it doesn't really matter.

(and it's a big but)

 It does matter 
if we're talking about her 

Beyonce technically didn't perform.  
It was a recording of her voice.
 it was Beyonce's voice and 
it was exceptional.  
(Dang, that girl can sing.)

(yes another but)
 I believe the National Anthem 
is a song that should be sung 

A LIVE performance brings in...
the pressure of the big event...  
will the singer 
hit the right notes?
remember the words?
in the right order?


The reason I even give lip service to this subject 
is that singing the National Anthem 
is something I've done a lot.  
Granted, only 
for a crowd of 10,000 
and not 10 million.

Maybe I'm just jealous…
and wish I 
was a singing
 with pre-recorded options.

Beyonce will be performing during half-time 
at the Superbowl.

I say 
go ahead and 
"put a ring on it"..
I mean..
go ahead and 
lip sync to a pre-recorded track...
It isn't the National Anthem.

Viva La Diva

Monday, January 21, 2013

Happy Birthday Chelsea

Today is a noteworthy day.

27 years ago
was born.

And oh yea…
today is 
Martin Luther King Day


the public 
swearing-in ceremony for 
President Barack Obama's second term.

So a lot of folks will be celebrating today…with
parades, balls, galas, 
and some others 
party hats.

Martin Luther King, President Obama, and Chelsea
(I would say they are in good company.)


As a country, 
as a people,
and as
friends and relatives of Chelsea...
we have a lot to celebrate.

Today puts us in the party spirit
(and I'm not talking Republicans or Democrats
or any party politics.)

I'm talking 
good ole fashion 
balloons, streamers, and ice cream pie.

God Bless America
red, white, and blue


God Bless Chelsea

red, white, and WOO HOO


Friday, January 18, 2013


Fads come and Fads go...
First we had

(Easy when you are planking in a field.)

(Not so easy when you are planking in a plane's main cabin.)

Planking evolved into


IN sports…
we had 




The latest fad was milking...
(udderly silly)

But MOOOve over Milking.

Now we have Te'oing...

What's next?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Metered Moments

We all have those moments...

You're involved in
a situation so ridiculous 
you would think it could be a
sketch on 
Saturday Night Live,

The scenario:

PaulA and I are standing in line at the San Diego Zoo 
waiting to see their newest Panda, 
born 7 months ago. 

It's not our style to stand in a long line…for anything…
but a baby Panda has a high awww factor 
on the "Cute-o-Meter."

In line behind us stands 
an obnoxious man 
who has the  
the "Dork-o-Meter"
at full-tilt.

What stands out the most with this man…
is how closely he stands behind PaulA.  
He is sooo close…
that a part of him
constantly touches or brushes up 
against  PaulA.  

And when PaulA moves even a half a step forward…
the man does too.  
And this goes on. and on.
every step of the way.
The "Jerk-o-Meter" is off the charts.


It is moments like these 
that get you thinking this has to be a set-up.
There is someone hiding in the bushes...  
deliberately trying your patience... 
just waiting to see how long before you blow…
wanting to capture your melt-down on tape.

I have to say, 
PaulA was one cool dude with Mr. Obnoxious.

But if it was this Kat...
who had to deal with Mr. Obnoxiously Irritating,

I would have broken the 
"Mel Gibson-o-Meter."

Monday, January 14, 2013

Golden Globe Party

I enjoy watching the 
Golden Globes.

I like the loose, relaxed, party atmosphere
(who you calling loose) 
and the
smoozing .

I find it waaay more entertaing than the Oscars
which for me is more like 

(Must we document all the awards given to the Documentaries.) 

I was thinking that Ben Affleck probably
likes the Golden Globes more than the Oscars.  
Ben wasn't even nominated this year for a
"Best Director" Academy Award for his film "Argo."

As they say he was 
but apparently with his big win last night...
he's turned that 
Oscar snub 
into a 
Golden Globe smug.


The Golden Globes are the only award show 
where there is drinking all night 
during the show.  

(Or should I say…afternoon.  
Let's remember, the party starts at 5pm in LA.
more like Happy Hour.)

With alcohol involved…
you never know who may 
slip up
verbally or physically.  

And that's part of the fun you don't get from the 
Academy Awards.

The Golden Globes
are the  
rowdy younger brother 
as compared 
to the more 
composed older brother, 

And wouldn't ya rather be at 
Prince Harry's party?

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Alabama Wins BCS Championship, Roll Tide

Alabama Fans 
have been riding high on the 
Bama Crimson Tidal Wave.  
(This Kat and PaulA included.)

We were soooo happy to see the 
Alabama Crimson Tide 
win the 
BCS Championship  
against Notre Dame….
making it back-to-back wins,
their 3rd BCS Titile in 4 years,
and Alabama's 15th Championship. 
(but who's counting?)



I love the expression "Roll Tide." 
"Roll Tide" easily rolls off the tongue 
and is fitting wherever/whenever BAMA fans meet…
as depicted in the ESPN video below.

Notre Dame's Fighting Irish Fans say  
"Go Irish"  which I admit, is a pretty good expression…
especially if you are a leprechaun.

But to hear "Go Irish"  from a 
University of Alabama Graduate and Alabama Football Fan…
you gotta ask 
"What up wit dat?"

Well….as this story goes...
in a small town eatery in Connecticut...
Mike Golic from ESPN 
managed to get Chelsea to utter 
"Go Irish." 

(say it ain't so)

First of all,
Chelsea did not know she was talking to 
Mike Golic of
(Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN) 
a veteran NFL defensive player,
who played at Notre Dame,
whose sons were playing on the ND team

I understand my daughter, 
so I know why Chelsea broke down and 
uttered those 2 words...

Chelsea will say 

Check out the video here:

(maybe we can get someone 
to dub in