Tuesday, August 7, 2012

MOMisms

I remember waaaaay back when....
making chocolate chip cookies
and hearing my mom say:



"If I told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times."

“Don’t eat the dough."

"It will kill you.”


I was never sure if it was just another one of her
“momisms”
like
“Your face is gonna freeze like that."
or
"I'll give you something to cry about."


Nothing like a good MOMism.
Genetically designed
to scare the bejesus out of kids.

To this day, I have never known one person who
keeled over and died
from eating chocolate chip cookie dough. 
But I’ve made sure to pass it on to my kids...
just to scare
the bejesus out of them.


Anywhooo.....

I recently read an article about an Australian man who got sick
AFTER cooking  his dough. 

The Aussie’s wife cooked the dough at 350 degrees...
but he still became violently ill.


That’s because the dough she cooked was


15,000 dollars in cash. 

He had hidden his cash in their oven for safekeeping...
later saying his wife never used the oven.

We’ve all burned money before...
some at the race track...
others at Nordstroms Rack.

But in the oven???......
YikesZA...

That’s a lot of dough to go up in smoke.


Seeing “money doesn’t grow on trees”...
the man can’t pay his mortgage.

(Apparently mortgage companies don’t accept ashes.)



Alas,

a new MOMism

is baked from this story....
(Did someone say Baked Alaska?)


"Always check the oven
before cooking your dough...
you could burn your bread."

Besides


"There are starving children in India."

(Because I said so, that's why.)



(Wipe that smile off your face, before I have to.)

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