Monday, March 7, 2011

Top Ten List for Flight Attendants



I would like to take this opportunity to thank Flight Attendants for their hard work and patience. Being a flight attendant is not an easy job. First of all, you have to put up with the masses and sasses. And second of all, you have to put up with the crasses and jack asses.

I’ve assembled a TOP TEN LIST of:

THINGS THAT PISS OF FLIGHT ATTENDANTS

Not buckling your seatbelt
Not turning off your electronic device
Not putting your chair back into an upright position upon landing
Standing in the aisle to use the bathroom
Calling them ‘waitress’ or ‘waiter’
Dropping the F-bomb
Dropping the “F” and saying “bomb”
Playing with the exit door
Fist fighting with other passengers
Standing up and yelling, “OH MY GOD, WE’RE GOING DOWN” during turbulence


You just know Flight Attendants are biting their tongues when dealing with passengers...not saying what they are truly thinking.

TOP TEN LIST of:

THINGS THAT A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WOULD PREFER TO SAY

Buckle your seatbelt, or I’ll strangle you with it
Turn off your cell phone, before I confiscate it and step on it
Put your chair in an upright position, or I’ll kick it back with my combat boots
Get out of the aisle, before I run you over with the drink cart
Call me ‘waitress’ one more time, and you can wait until hell freezes over
Stop swearing at me...you #$%^&, potty mouth
You better be talking lip balm...and not bomb...or we’re bringing in the Suits
Play with the exit door and you’ll be forced to watch the in-flight safety instructions on repeat
Go ahead and duke it out with each other....one less passenger to deal with
Stand up and yell “OMG, WE’RE GOING DOWN” one more time...and get muzzled

I like to think of myself as the model passenger. As soon as I find my seat on the plane, I buckle up. I would never be disrespectful of flight attendants and get in their way. This Kat always flies by the book.

And I would NEVER stand up and yell, “OH MY GOD, WE’RE GOING DOWN”...
I would just yell it from my seat. Not the same thing.