Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Kat's Weigh to Weight-loss


Many of us (at some point) have tried a fad diet to lose weight...The South Beach Diet, Grapefruit Diet, Cabbage Soup Diet, Mediterranean Diet. Fad diets go in and out like our waistlines.

But in the end...we all really know that the real way to lose weight is simple. It has a lot to do with NOT eating the triple decker bacon cheeseburger with fries and gravy...and substituting it with 3 stalks of celery and two of carrots. Not a fair trade.

Excuse this little digestion.....I mean, digression...but I remember in college when I decided to go on the ultimate fad diet...an ice cream diet. My roommate told me about it...and I remember thinking I was gonna be living Heaven on Earth. I couldn’t have been happier. I was gonna lick myself to a skinny body. But after having ice cream for each meal for two days…I would have given anything to sink my teeth into something crunchy…a celery stalk, bone marrow....anything.

Anywhoooo..........

It seems everyone has some weight-loss diet out there. So I’ve decided to join in and write my own weight-loss book. It will be a diet plan with a totally revolutionary idea. I’ve decided to call the book: “Kat’s Weigh to Weight-loss.” And it will employ my scientific ELEM method…Eat Less and Exercise More.

Step One: Weigh yourself. “No way...“Yes, weigh.” But forget weighing your food...and never bring food scales to restaurants. I have found that it is hard to weigh the Never Ending Pasta Bowl of Pasta Carbonara at Olive Garden...too slippery for the scales.

Step Two: Two step. (No, that isn’t a typo.) Dance the two step or salsa (if you prefer Mexican over country-western.) When the buns move...the jelly does too. And my favorite is Smucker’s Strawberry Jelly on some piping hot cross buns. Oooyea.

Step Three: Replace every third glass of wine with red colored water. After a few...you don’t really notice.

Step Four: Replace every third burrito with ...beans only. Beans...the musical fruit not only provides interesting sounds...but is also good for you.

Step Five: Repeat Steps 1-4...as necessary.

Feel free to comment and weigh in on my new revolutionary weight-loss plan...on a scale from 1 to 10...or join me in a sticky bun.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't agree with it.

Anonymous said...

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