The World of Ikea

I survived the World of Ikea.

Warning: DO NOT go into an Ikea store and think you’ll easily find your way out. Dropping bread crumbs as you shop is a good idea at Ikea.

Getting into the store is no problem. You park in the garage…and take the elevators up. Then enter with hundreds of people who arm themselves with an itty bitty #2 pencil and an order form.

When you first arrive, you realize Ikea is a world unto itself…with a food court and a daycare that offers free babysitting. The daycare is reason enough to get lost at Ikea. You can enter with a toddler and exit when your child is all grown up…with a job.

The store is massively huge with a clever design that has you following arrows…taking you through the different departments of Living, Bathing, Dining, and Kitchening.

Anywho………..

After quickly realizing the stuff at IKea would BREAKea at the drop of HATea, and probably not last longer than my manicure, I decided it was time to escape the World of Ikea and head for the nearest exit.

My problem …Where is the exit? How the Hell do I get out? Seems easy: Follow the yellow brick road of signs that are posted. With each new exit sign I followed, I gained new hope of exiting. No such DEAlea.

After traipsing around to no avail…I used the itty bitty #2 pencil to write a goodbye note to my family on the back of my order form and taped it to the frig in the Kitchen department.

As my stomach churned during my futile attempts…luck intervened. I happened upon the food court and thought…Why not sit down for a little rest and burrito? The perfect Mexican combination…rest and burrito.

With new fuel...new hope…and new gas…I set out again. I was ready to take on Ikea.

After 30 more minutes of endless rambling and asking other store customers for help…I was still trapped.

I made a decision. There was only one way out: Stand there and cry: “I lost my mommy.” Someone will have to help.

I survived the World of Ikea…and all I have to show for it is my itty bitty #2 pencil.

ps. Happy Birthday to PaulA. The man I could be trapped with forever in the World of Ikea.