Sunday, October 9, 2016

No Clowning Around

DON'T send in the clowns.

I don't know about you but I have a fear of clowns …
aka Coulrophobia.  
Apparently you can have a phobia to just about anything.  
If you can name it…you can be afraid of it.
ie…if something is a noun…you can fear it.
(I wonder if the fear of "nouns" is called nounophobia?)  

So now I'm finding out….
my fear of chopsticks has a fancy name…
Think about it...
you could get a splinter stuck in your throat. 
(Okay, maybe I'm awkward with using chopsticks.
I haven't mastered the chopstick.
I have mastered the fork.)


It's not yet Halloween but there is a new 
clown in town.

Move over Chuckles-the-Clown.

The Creepy Clown is 
creep or treat

Wether the recent clown claims are hearsay and hoax 
or authentic and accurate…
social media is fueling the creepy clown hysteria 
giving Average Joe Clown a good reason 
to be a sad sack
behind his plastered smile.

A "Clowns Lives Matter" Parade is scheduled in Tuscon, AZ on Oct. 15.
The Clowns do matter...
but paint me out of that picture.
I've never been a fan of clowns with their freaky features and 
numerous Clowni together
sounds frightening.
 Heck, even children who are supposed to like clowns 
fear them.  

You can't kid a kid…so call me a kid 
and give me  a lollipop.

How about that story of the dad in Auburn MA, who was dressed as a clown 
and following a school bus. 
Turns out his kids were on the bus…
and he was just clowning around.  
Not funny. 
Give that dad the Bozo Award 
and a night in the slammer.

The only time I think a clown isn't scary is when he's riding in his clown car 
and honking the horn
I'm on a long road trip and in need of a greasy burger.

Nothing  puts a smile on my face 
more than Ronald McDonald
smiling back at me.

Let's face it…
the upside of the creepy clown craze of 2016, 
 is that it  …
takes the focus off the other clowns 
who are running for President 2016.

(couldn't resist)

Monday, October 3, 2016

35 Years of "Something So Right"

I have been hitched, tied, and tethered to my ball and chain
for 35 years...

and that's a good thing.

Being the traditionalists that we are...
PaulA and I will be observing our special anniversary traditions...
which include wearing my wedding dress.
(That would be me wearing the dress...not PaulA. PaulA wears a much larger dress size.)

Yes, I've been putting my gown on every year.
During my preggo years, I left it wide open in the back.
(Big are in there somewhere.)
I haven’t exactly taken special care of my wedding gown.
The most I’ve done to preserve it is to store it in a blue Rubbermaid container.
I have to admit, my dress has faded and is not as white as it used to be.
But then again, I’m a little faded and not as bright as I used to be.

So this evening PaulA and I will be dancing to our special song “Something So Right”
sung by Barbra Streisand.
Barbra won’t be in the room with us...but I like to pretend she is.
side note:  I recently discovered Paul Simon wrote "Something So Right"
and Paul Simon has my same birth day.
Cosmic or what?

Back when our kids were little, they would sit on the couch
and watch with wide-eyed we waltzed around the family room.
(Dancing with the we come.)

When they were teens...they’d sit on the same couch,
and make jeering comments….
“You actually wore that dress on your wedding day? That’s how you guys danced?”

Now they call us asking,
“You wore your wedding dress and danced to your song, right?”


The icing on the wedding cake every year, is PaulA’s card.
I look forward to his card …which is always so beautifully written...
and I try to keep my emotions to a nice happy cry....
not the ugly, snot bubble-through-the-nostrils cry.

So if you peek in our windows tonight…(I’m calling the cops)...
you’re sure to get a glimpse of Kat and PaulA still doing
“Something So Right.”

My dress may have faded...but our love
still sparkles.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Goodbye House

TWENTY! years ago we moved into 
the White House 

with our young and growing family.  

It wasn't The White House located on Pennsylvania Ave…
Bill and Hillary Clinton had that one, 
but we felt just as privileged.  
We were excited to be moving back to CT and had found 
just the right house, by just the right builder, in just the right neighborhood.  
Something so right. 
(My favorite B. Streisand song)

We were Sold.

Looking back, these 3 look like orphans we got off ebay. 
At least they were happy orphans.
We still have the "sold" sign today and the kids.
albeit, they aren't kids anymore.


Fast forward to 2016 and almost to the day…
we sold our White House 
Apparently the Clintons dig the digs at the White House so much, 
they're trying to get back in.

Moving out of a home where you have 
lived, loved, and laughed for 20 years 
is not only hard emotionally, 
but it is also
a monumental physical task. 

3 large dumpsters,
1 billion trips to the Good Will, 
numerous online tags sales, 
a face-to-face tag sale (I could only handle one), 
furniture to family, friends and Facebook strangers....
many Charity organization pick-ups
everything was a heave-ho, must-go….
except the few must-haves…and the memories.  
We were taking those AND our friendships with us...
we could never ever leave them behind.

Our last night at the house was an emotional one for this Kat.  
I  get emotional at most anything…just ask my family.
I thought about everything I was doing for the last time…
the last time I would turn off a light, 
the last time I would open a cabinet
the last time I would clean the toilets 
(thank goodness for the last)…

And so
on our last night 
PaulA and I slept on the floor in our empty bedroom, in our empty house
and the reel-to-reel tape 
of real life 
played over and over in my head of
7,300 days...
good days, bad days, 
long days, short days, 
dog days.

Speaking of dog days…
we had 14 years of them with Duncandog 
aka rappa D 
the hairy 4-legged 
sixth member of the Healy family.

Where did all those days go?

I will miss our White House
the safe place we laid our heads at night 
all together, under 1 roof...
but I will also miss the passage of 20 years and the
memories, moments, and milestones
that went with them.

The next morning was "G" day...
Goodbye day.
I slowly walked through the house and said goodbye to each room. 
Goodbye kitchen, Goodbye living room, Goodbye family room, Goodbye dining room......

Goodbye to empty rooms.

like the first day we moved in... 
each room was filled with special memories that flashed before me.

So for the l-a-s-t time, 
I shut the front door 
blew the White House a kiss, 
and cried my eyes out.
no surprise there.

It was a bittersweet moment.

PaulA and I were closing the door on the White House for the 
last time,

 but at the same time 
we were opening the door 
to a new adventure.

(As for Hill and Bill moving back into the other White House?
that door still remains open.)

Sunday, September 11, 2016

United We Stand

we set aside our political differences and 

to remember 
the 2,977 lives that were lost 15 years ago,
and the men and women who sacrificed their lives 
to save others
to honor 
those who continue to defend our freedom.

United We Stand

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Girl on a Plane

I've never been a good flyer. 
Maybe you are familiar with the type…
when the plane hits a bump 
said passenger's flailing arms grab the arms of the seat chair and neighboring passenger.
 Then said passenger straps on headphones, turns on iPod, pushes the volume up,
and rocks…
as in padded cell rock...
not the cool rocking out version.   
Okay, said passenger might resemble this Kat, 
but I've been working on my behavior and I'm proud to say I'm a lot more chill these days. 
(Does that make me chillier?)
Chill...until my last flight back from a fun FUN wedding in 
Hot HOT Austin TX, 
when the plane hit some bumps and the flight attendants 
were ordered back to their jump seats 
(never a good sign.)

That was when I reverted to said passenger behavior...
grabbed headphones, turned iPod on and the Volume UP…
 ready to rock 
when what song comes on????
Thomas Rhett's….CRASH AND BURN. 
Seriously.  I can't make this stuff up.  
I actually could make it up, but not this time.  
I couldn't change that song fast enough…
frantically looking for Steve Miller's:
"Fly Like an Eagle."


While hanging around the airport (at least it isn't the mall)…
I've been noticing a trend in books. 
At least half of them have the word "Girl" in the title. 
"Gone Girl", "The Good Girl", The "Still Missing Girl", 
"Girl on the Train"
"The Girl from the Train"  
"The Forgotten Girl"
"The Girl with a Past"
"The Girl in the Ice"
"The Girl who Chased the Moon"
"The Girl in the Woods"
"The Goose Girl"
"Girl with Golden Eyes"
"Girl with Green Eyes"
"Bad Girls"
"Top Girls"
"The Girl with the Silver Eyes"
"Girl in a Blue Dress"
Are you noticing the trend yet?

 I'm all Girl Power, cuz I happen to be one and 
I am Katwoman
but could we be taking the Girl thang a little too far?

Apparently this is the time to jump on the "Girl" Train
which gives me an idea for a book.
Check it out...

Girl on the Plane - 

written in the same vain as "Girl on the Train," 
"Girl on the Plane" is a story of twists and turns 
taking you to new heights.
A psychological thriller that will keeping you guessing at every turn...
Will the Girl on the Plane...
choose water or booze?
snooze or no snooze?
peanuts or cheese nips?
use the lav or hold it 4 hours?

I've also been noticing there is a book trend with "wife"  
in the title…
"Silent Wife"…haha
"Reliable Wife"…haha
"The Unwilling Wife"…double haha

Apparently if something becomes popular...
copycat versions become the trend. 
The word "skinny" sells everything...
Skinny Margarita, Skinny Water(genius),
Skinny Fries, Skinny Ice Cream

Some trends in words...
You can be run of the mill "crazy."
Or you can be 
out-of-your-mind, bat-shit crazy.

Hmmm…Back to my book 
and copyKat idea. 

I might need to rework my "Girl on the Plane" title 
and add some trendy words 
to stand out from all the other "Girl" books.

Cray-Cray Girl on the Plane 
wrangles Skinny Wife 

If that's not a Bestseller…
I'm turning off my blinking cursor.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Happy 25th Birthday Brianna

Happy 25th Birthday, Brianna
aka Wish, Wishy, Sweet Wishy, Wish Queen of America

A quarter of a century  is a milestone birthday and comes with a big perk.
The Budget rental-car is easier to rent. woop woop

I recently found our calendar from the year 1991, the year Brianna was born.  
(yes, I am a pacKat).  
I had circled June 14th  on the calendar and  written Baby #3 due .  
Apparently Brianna had decided she was tired of being cramped in that womb without a view, 
so she busted out 9 days early.
My pop-up timer had popped, Bri was fully cooked.
It was Wishy time.

Born on a sunny day…
Bri came home to a Big Sister and Big Brother bearing gifts...
got chicken pox?
Nothing says Welcome baby sister...more than a highly contagious virus.  

Our Bri = sweet, happy, thoughtful, determined, creative, FUN and adventurous.  
If I were to pick a color that reminds me of Brianna, it would be yellow.  
(Hence, her old room color.) 
With her sunny disposition, she makes the world a better place.  
And off she will go soon…spreading her yellow around the world.
(Ever since Major Healy…aka PaulA  agreed to that Semester-at-Sea, 
we haven't been able to get the  "Jeannie" back in the bottle.)


Brianna has always loved a celebration…especially hers!  
She's been a Party girl since 1991.  

Make a wish, Sweet Wishy. 
It's Your day to make a wish...
our wish came true 25 years ago.

Have a great day and do whatever makes you happy…
even if involves eating with your hands.

June 5.1991…25 years ago…
we became a Party of Five...

...And Sweet Wishy continues to have me eating out of her hands.

Love you, Brianna
to the 25th power

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Reflections of a Reflective Blogger

From this blog title, you might be expecting a blog about
something deep...
a theoretical/philosophical topic
but alas...
that would be someone else's blog.

This blog deals with matters that are skin deep...

the full-length mirror.

This is...

A Tale of Two Mirrors...
(Charles Dickens has nothing on this Kat.)

where one mirror makes you look like
Lady Godiva

and the other makes you look like

the horse she rode in on.

 It was the best of reflections. 
It was the worst of reflections.


Today on "Today" 
Jeff Rossen did an investigative story on a new mirror...
The Skinny Mirror.

The Skinny Mirror is made of curved glass and gives your body a slimming hourglass effect...
knocking off between 5 to 10 pounds.
The inventor claims that 
"a normal mirror actually makes you look five to 10 pounds heavier than you do in real life."
(I knew my mirror was plotting against me.)

The Skinny Mirror was originally designed for the home market 
to inspire a positive self image 
but is increasingly selling to retail clothing stores...
because retail stores really really care about our self image.  
(I love it when I make a funny.)

Apparently clothing sales are increased by almost 20 percent 
when The Skinny Mirror is used in their dressing rooms.

Nothing like a magic mirror 
in a dressing room to get me to
Say "YES" to the Dress.

Do we really want a mirror that reflects the TRUTH?

ummm...not always.